yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
