Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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