Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize