We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
