Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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