Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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