OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
