I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I am in a vortex of obligation.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You can't just leave with hair like that
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
