I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize