My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
this just has baby written all over it
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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