I showed him my bush... on skype.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
