Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
