there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
