did you get engaged???
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
