ya dads aren't the best wingmen
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
