My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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