fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
