i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Randomize
