did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
