i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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