I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize