Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
