we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize