I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
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he fucked my hip out of place.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
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you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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