how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
