so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
