i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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