did you get engaged???
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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