dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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