You really coming over, don't trick.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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