her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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