the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize