would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
