eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize