He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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