It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
