I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
