I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
