The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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