We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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