Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize