yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
