Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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