She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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