On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
