I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
