sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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