I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
