I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
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besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
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I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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