You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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