The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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