pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
