Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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