are you still at the devil's house?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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