Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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