On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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