You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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