He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
