so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
