$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
